That condition.

“Love is that condition in which the happiness
of another person is essential to your own.”

– R. A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

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Things that win my heart #11.

Those silly little random heart-warming things that cheer you up when you're down, or just calm you down when you're freaking out! Sara Bareilles is among these things for me...

Also in this category -

Anthony, my girls, Merci chocolates, red nail

polish, the All-American Rejects and reading John Green novels.

What would I do without them?

                             Freak out a lot more, that's what!

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There are ways of saying things.

I've said in the past that I don't care what people think of me, but truly, "people" isn't everyone. When it comes to the ones I care about, it means a lot.

When a stranger makes a rude comment we think, "You don't know me" and brush it off soon enough. But their compliments hold on, making us feel that even strangers appreciate us. With those we love, the compliments hold for a while, sometimes even being taken for granted. Any slight resemblance of criticism, however, can stick with us perpetually. It's funny (or rather, quite shitty) in this case how the mean things always stick with us more than the kind things we're offered.

The people who know us through and through are the ones whose comments are the seemingly most honest ones. We then fear that if that's what they think of us, is it really who I am?

I'm not saying that it is, but close friends' interpretations of you become reflections of how you exhibit yourself. Unless of course, they're genuinely rude and are saying it to be mean. In which case, you should probably rethink the legitimacy of your friendship.

Of course, you cannot change the way people are going to interpret you, but you have the choice as to what you're offering them to interpret. So all in all, as my argument has always ended on this topic, be yourself. From the words of Dr Seuss:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Another thing to think about is how the things you might say may affect someone else. Others may know they're wonderful, but you should always remind them of how much they mean to you. And on the other hand, think about the critical stuff before it leaves your lips. Honesty should always come first, but there are ways of saying things.

Remember, you can have a stronger effect on people than you realise.

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It does exist.

When people say "life is short" do they realise that living is the thing they'll do for the longest? We each live within in our own forevers. A lot of people seem to forget that when they grow older, the word reminding them of fairy tales that let reality down. But really, we define the word and write our own tales.

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The gift of fear.

I've come to realise that every stupid thing I've ever done in my life occurred because I completely ignored my instincts. Okay, not completely ignored; I did in fact consider them, but I definitely did not listen to them at all. And I am fortunate that all these things were simple, which only got me a detention or something of similar penalty, and nothing life-threateningly dangerous.

I don't think people consider deeply enough the "I have a bad feeling about this" feeling. Did you know that humans are the ONLY  living creature that will sense danger and walk right into it? I'm paraphrasing expert Gavin de Becker here and it's so scarily true.

Consider any time in your life where something did not feel right, did you hesitate to listen to your instincts because you were afraid what someone else may think? Last week I changed train carriages because a man smiled at me and it literally scared me. I thought twice about offending him, but my intuition told me to remove myself from the situation.

Also, if you fear there is something wrong with your health, you have to figure it out. Like after the ops I've had this year I felt silly going to see the doctor about a new issue as I thought he may think I'm just turning into a hypochondriac. But fear cannot be ignored.

Fear is a gift, and we don't know where it comes from or how it's produced within us, but we have to listen to it as it can literally save our lives. I'm not talking about paranoia; paranoia takes it that step further, it's almost obsessive, if you like. But it's much more important to be safe and offend or hurt someone's feelings or feel a little silly, than to be sorry and harmed. We act upon all other emotions - happiness, anger, melancholy - so why not fear? Why do we push it aside sometimes?

If you'd like to read additional and probably more helpful information on this, this post was half inspired by personal experience, and half inspired by an Oprah interview with Gavin de Becker I watched a few years back, so you check that out. There are some chilling stories that really have you thinking twice about your intuition and "the gift of fear" (which is also the name of de Becker's book.)

I urge you all to consider your intuition and fear if you find yourself in any kind of situation that just does not feel quite right. You're all so wonderful; I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you!

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Splitscreen.

Splitscreen: A love story. Directed by J.W. Griffiths

Awesome technique. Cute story. Made me smile. Had to share.

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Without time.

It occurred to me today how freeing it would be without time. I obviously realise it would not work in a realistic world, but idealistically, how amazing would it be?

We're brought up to think about everything within the constraints of time, but what if there were no minutes, hours, days, months, years? We'd just be living, not worrying about deadlines, the beginning of the week or getting older. We would take the world as it comes and not confine ourselves to the concern of time.

It would actually be like when we were young, before we were taught what the little hand and big hand did. The sun would rise and set and our lives played out between and beyond that. As soon as time is introduced, so too is routine and the need to make time happy.

Time as an indicator doesn't seem so bad, but it's the subconscious recognition of something alongside this indication that holds us.

Now, I'm not trying to say that time is this big, evil monster... I just mean that not having to worry about time seems like such a blissful idea, like basing age on how you feel and not the number of years since your birth.

Of course we need time, or the world may just be chaos, but I guess that's why holidays are particularly splendid; we get a break from having to check our watches and schedules. We sleep until our body wakes us, and live like when we were too young to care about time.

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Springtime.

In Springtime, the only pretty ringtime.
      The birds sing, hey ding... a dinga dinga ding.
                                           Sweet lovers love, the Spring!

– Willy Wonka        

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Strange & awesome words #7.

Lubberwort (noun):
Food or drink of no nutritional value, "that makes one idle and stupid." A mythical herb that produces laziness (1540s).

I am so using this from now on instead of "junk food."

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