Simplicity.

This is a short film I found today. I won't say much, but it's pretty cute. Just enjoy it for what it is, and the simplicities. :)

What if?

The instinctual desire to try something is amazing. Dismissing inhabitions, and just going for that gut feeling is even more amazing.

I mean, throwing away inhabitions is probably one of the scariest things we as humans have to face, but it is one of the most freeing. I push myself to convert my fear into excitement, to take hold of the opportunity in front of me and hope that something comes of it. Of course it's not guaranteed that something may, but isn't it better to take that chance?

Or would you rather live in a world of What Ifs?

Over seven hundred?

Seven hundred and thirty page views? When did this happen? Shawks guys.

I don't even know how many people actually read this, but to those who do, thank you :) Don't be shy to comment, yeah? If you disagree with something, or something doesn't make sense, or you just feel like sharing the love... You don't have to have an account to comment. And I'd love to know what you're all thinking!

Anyway, not much to say today as I am busy busy "studying" for this thing they call HSC. Perhaps another one of my poems to fill the void? It is kind of depressing, I admit...


Sweet Surrender

Speeding down the highway,
Through the fog and pouring rain.
Blood smeared down my jacket sleeve,
My own desired stain.

An empty bottle of Jack
Simply rattles across the floor.
It's failed to erase the memories
I am desperate to ignore.

Nothing lies before me,
But this dark and empty road.
This nothingness, it troubles me.
I am ready to explode.

My heart, it beats like raindrops,
Heavy and pounding against my chest.
Never have I felt so alive,
Nor so longed eternal rest.

I catch one last short breath,
And shut my vacant eyes.
Succumbing to the one within,
Who’s been wearing my disguise.

Switching the pedals below me,
Locking in my wheels and fate.
And releasing me from everything.
Regrets of life and hate.

Gliding across the tarmac,
Invisible. Numb. I’m flying.
I have finally found my escape,
From a life entrapped in dying.

Fear and hope.

You know the feeling of just need, want, desire... that boils within you?

But uncertainty creeps over you like a dark shadow, and don't know if you will ever obtain it... How can you reach it? What's standing in your way? What would you give to have it?

What are we without our dreams and fears? We are nothing.

We put ourselves out there every day to try and reach the things we desire, but there is no crystal ball. We can never be sure of the success and failure to come in life.

We wear our hearts on our sleeves, running in circles sometimes until we break down, exhausted by the drive that pushed us and pushed us. Sometimes we crack and can't take it any longer. We become overtaken by this idea that we can't succeed. And so we settle.

We let go of this hold we have on desire. Let go of the need to fulfill any kind of dream. And we become society, rather than an individual.

I just hope I never give up on what I want my future to be. People say that if you believe it enough, things will happen. I don't agree with that at all. You have to work to get to where you want to be. You can't just rely on hope, you have to be willing to put in the effort.

I may try a million times and fail, but I will try a million times more.

T. S. Eliot is amazing.

"I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting. Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: So the darkness shall be the light... and the stillness the dancing."

18.

Before I begin studying English for the last time in my life (!!!).. I just wanted to say that perhaps being seventeen forever was an unecessary wish.

Turning eighteen, I don't feel any different, like I thought I would. And I still feel too young for the "privledges" of being a so-called "adult" haha. Perhaps that may change over time, but I think I'll still be a child for many years to come :)

"Change is inevitable" my Business Studies textbook tells me, and so resistance should not be an option. Getting older is part of life I suppose, but age is only a number. Ahh, that's so cliché! I apologise, but it is the truth.

And anyway, statistics show that people who have the most birthdays live the longest!

No time.

I don't really have much to say... I should actually be studying right now! Stupid HSC.

Seeing as I haven't much time to make real blog posts these days, I thought I might share a poem I wrote. I wrote it about a year ago for someone I used to know.

Stronger Today

Today I will be stronger,

Today I will be me.

I’m killing all my demons,

From today I shall be free.

This weight upon my shoulders,

Has been causing my decay.

I shall lift it off, burn it through.

I’m a new person today.

You’ve held me back from life,

And too my heart from love.

You even had me doubting,

My faith in god above.

You’ve ruined me for too long now,

Today I take control.

I’m not the person of yesterday.

Today I save my soul.

No giving into temptation,

No pain brought on myself.

I do not deserve it all.

I want back my heart and health.

I’ve been smiling on the outside,

But today it's inside too.

I’m leaving my past behind me.

Today I’m pushing through.

So now your time has passed,

You don't control me any longer.

Today I am my own self.

Today I will be stronger.

HSC stinks.

It really does.