Things that win my heart #8.

Handwritten letters. In fact, this will probably win the heart of any girl. Haha :) Forget emails, Facebook and texting. Old school letters just have that genuine feel about them.

Romeo, Romeo.

I was thinking about Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet last night, and I realised something.

For any of you who haven't read it or seen any film interpretation, yes you're right, it's about two teens who are so madly in love that when one dies, the other feels they must follow. Okay, so we all know that before actually reading or seeing it, but after actually reading it (about 4 years ago) I realised how much of absolute idiots they both were.

Hear me out, hear me out. This is what my big realisation was based on. You see, they were both indeed idiots for the hastiness of their actions and blindness to reason, but what I realised last night was that it was not their fault. I, in fact, had been hasty to judge them and was blind to thinking about their past.

I mean, look at their parents! They're in a complete, full throttle war over who is more powerful and mighty. The prologue tells us, "From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, a pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life." But until now it didn't cross my mind to blame their parents. And I don't mean that in the sense of them dying, as of course without the secrecy from the parents, there would have been no need; but in the sense that that they've been brought up with such intense parents who make choices based on such heightened emotions.

Who can blame them for not knowing any better? At least Romeo and Juliet were able to focus this intensity on feelings of love and passion. So thus, we can doubly blame the parents! Well... okay, to some extent. I mean, how long can we blame parents for the way their children behave?

We are brought up in homes which are based on different ideals, beliefs and ways of life, but as we grow up society gives us all a chance to interpret the world on our own. And mixing these two things - nature and nurture - is what makes us us. So in saying that, I suppose the fault of the lovers' demise is both their parents' and their own!

We'll go.

Where even angels fear to fly... Beyond the clouds, you and I.

What's in a promise?

It's beginning to occur to me that a lot of people don't know the meaning of the word "promise." And even the ones who do don't uphold its righteous credibility.

From even the smallest of pinky promises to lifetime commitments, so many cannot be kept! So what, may I ask you, is the point of making a promise in the first place? Is it to assure someone that we can be trusted to do something, or to convince ourselves of it?

Now don't get me wrong, a lot promises are kept, but people change, and so do feelings... So why pretend that we can tell the future and know who we'll be when tested to the limit of a promise? Shouldn't we just let life play out, allowing ourselves, our feelings and our ability to trust someone to grow and change without the need to predict it?

If you're going to make a promise, at least have the decency to show power in not breaking it, despite changes in life. (Unless you're breaking one to help someone in danger of course!)

Perhaps we want to believe our own good intentions, as well as others', and allow ourselves to be swept away by the ideal behind every promise. Even after learning that we all inevitably break them sometimes, we continue to believe... Because, I suppose, what is life without hope?

Life = Risk.

I thought this was a great vid, I just had to share. :)

Finding the strength.

Well, you can't blame me for not posting for a week... almost. I mean, I probably could have yesterday, but I got a little carried away with online shopping. Yes, I know, that seriously contradicts my tirade in the post last month about online shopping, but what can I say? Some mistakes are inevitably repeated. (i.e. shopping. LOL)

In reference to my last post, I arrived home from hospital on Saturday. It's awesome to be back home, but man recovery is a pain in the... well, everywhere. At least at home there's a bit more privacy. You know, it's kind of ironic going to a private hospital, when being at a hospital is the least private thing ever. And once you're under general anaesthetic, bam! Control gone, and you're in the hands of doctors, surgeons, specialists... I know they're professionals, but they're opening you up and doing things to your body while you're far away dreaming! Totally creepy if you ask me.

Oh, and you know how I was hoping it would be my appendix? Well it turned out it was that plus two other things all in the same area! I won't go into detail, but I am all good for now :)

It's weird recovering from surgery; although you go in to be "fixed," for a while you lose the ability to function as you did before the surgery. I'm only talking from my own experience, but I'm sure a lot of cases are similar. For example, I couldn't even feed myself, eat solids, breathe too deeply, speak too loudly, walk fast enough to beat a turtle in a race, or even laugh without exerting myself!

I am happy to report however, that I can now do all of the above without too much strife! :) Of course there's still pain here and there, and I have to be off uni for a couple more weeks (so frustrating!) but I will be A-Okay.

Sometimes strength is hard to find, but creating strength to overcome it allows us to not only push through the challenge, but to grow from it.

Farewell, stupid appendix.

They're starving me again! Okay, that seems totally over dramatic, but I'm getting laparoscopic surgery done tomorrow to remove my appendix and I have to fast. Sure, it's fine if it's only going to be the 9 and a half hours before surgery, but they better let me eat afterwards! I don't want a repeat of the Easter long weekend... 2 days without food!

This may sound a bit weird, but I'm actually really hoping that it is my appendix which has been causing all these issues, because they're actually prepared for that. I'm sure they'll know how to deal with anything else that may be the issue, but I suppose what I'm trying to say is, I'm actually prepared for that.

There are so many other possibilities, as they're not 100% sure it is appendicitis, so what if it's something more serious? Okay, let's not think about that.

I looked up the procedure today on the net... (More info here if anyone else is curious.) I probably shouldn't have. Haha. Thing is, I was fine when the doctor talked to me about it, but since I've told people what's going on, I keep getting asked if I'm worried. And being asked has actually caused me to start worrying.

The info on that site is way too confronting for someone who was trying to be naive about the whole thing. I'm the kind of person who knows she doesn't want to know, but is too curious not to find out, then once she does wishes she hadn't.

Oh, I just realised how late it's gotten! I have to be up early tomorrow, so apologies if this post seems a bit inconclusive, but I must be off! Wish me luck for tomorrow...
Goodnight all :)

On we go.

#100.

Happy 100th post! Pretty exciting, and I want to use it to say thanks to all you guys :)

I can't believe I have readers not only in Australia and Canada, but so many in America, Malaysia, India, Britain, Russia and a whole bunch of other countries as well! That's crazy. I'm not sure how you all discovered this blog, but thanks heaps for reading :)

Whoa. This is almost sounding like a Goodbye, which I can assure you it most certainly is not! There is much more passion and curiosity coming your way...

Much love to all. Peace. :)

Sometimes.

Sometimes caring about someone can be the hardest thing in the world. And I don't mean that in the way that it's hard to care about them, because really, that's the easy part; the part you fall into. But it's hard to see them put themselves in danger and you can't do anything about it.

Sometimes they refuse help, thinking they don't need it, or even don't see the danger at all. Their views are clouded by the shiny surface reflecting all the good - covering up all the danger and fears and downfalls - that they don't see what they're really getting into.

And sometimes you just wish you didn't care so much so you didn't have to make yourself sick with worrying. Sometimes you wish you could only care that amount that leaves you happy and not fearful.

Sometimes it seems selfish, and you don't want to hold them back from doing something, but do you let them learn for themselves? Or will the lesson entail something that cannot be erased from either of your lives?

They say you shouldn't live with regrets, but what if both sides of that decision will end with one? Which do you choose?

Eyes wide shut.

Why do we close our eyes when we cry?
                                                              When we dream?
                                                                           Or when we kiss?

Because we know that the most beautiful things in life are not seen,

but felt by the heart.

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