Dear you.

Dear you,

You may not know who you are, and perhaps you may never even read this. Maybe someone who does read this will be able to get something out of it... There are a few things I need to say.

When we were friends, I thought we weren't. But now we're not, I realise how much trust I put in you. Isn't trust what makes a friendship? There were so many layers to what we were; I can't really grasp any kind of idea.

Right now, what I do know is that you hate me, and frankly, I dislike you quite a lot. The thing is, it's only due to the things you've done to people close to me that I feel that way about you. And you hate me for hurting you. But if we were real friends, well, it would not have hurt. You would have been okay with whatever decision I had made. The decision was mine to make, and if you were my friend, you would have supported me.

But this is not about hate, this is about concern. Even though we're not friends, and I'm not sure if we ever were, I worry about you heaps. It's strange - I wonder if you're okay after everything that's happened. We shared a lot, and those things you told me still plague my mind. Every time I see you, even you quickly divert your eyes onto something else, many things play over in my mind. I'm so scared that something is going to happen.

Then I wonder if I should do something to try and help you. Would it be any use? I tried when we were still talking, and that was no success. I hope you have someone to talk to and who cares about you enough to do something about everything. A part of me wishes I could be that person, who can jump in and save you if you needed me, but I know I'm one of the last people you'd want to help you, or even talk to you for that matter.

The only way you'd talk to me again was if I went back on my decision, but I could never do that. It means too much to me to give up. But if you trusted me as much as I trusted you, then you would see I'm not trying to hurt you.

I see you occasionally, and the way you mask everything. I hope that you will be able to remove it slowly, and bandage things bit by bit. I hope it doesn't suddenly shatter to pieces. But if it does, you have to know how strong you are, and know you can push past it.

You need to know I'm here for you, despite everything.