Wow, so it's been pretty much a year since my last real post. Well here it goes again.
Someone was taking a photo of me the other day and it made me wonder how strange a photo is. I mean, isn't it a weird concept that people, things, places, feelings, memories and moments can be squashed into one frame?
The frame is of course physically flat - on a piece of photo paper, your phone, a computer screen - but at the same time, with so many layers. The flat version is available to everyone, but the layered, who is able to read it?
Not even the photographer and the photographed will see the same photo. The layers of thought, instance and relativity to one another changes the entire scope of what that photo is and what it means.
Photos cannot simply be images, but much more complex than that. The flat version will transform with consideration, even something you simply spot in a magazine or on a social network. It's hard to just skim past without your mind jumping to piece things together - the image, your relationship to it, how the colours or lines make something or the other more prominent.
Today, with all the available technology and media, billions of photos are being taken every day* and often shared, that all these stories are being thrown into the air (or rather, into the big scary world of the internet), and lines are crossing, jumbling, scrambling. Does the multitude of photos cause them lose meaning, or does it depend on the photo? Or does this highly saturated sphere enhance our lives in its cross overs of moments, stories and lives?
*Totally just made up that statistic.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Okay, I lied.
Okay, so I guess I lied before when I said I was back, huh?
This time I'm back for real. But first, I think, will be a revamp of the page. (What was I thinking with this colour scheme?)
Thank you to those who've dropped past and just read random past pieces. I appreciate you sticking around even in my absence.
Oh, look! I've completed some of those checklist items!
I'll be back soon. (Promise.)
This time I'm back for real. But first, I think, will be a revamp of the page. (What was I thinking with this colour scheme?)
Thank you to those who've dropped past and just read random past pieces. I appreciate you sticking around even in my absence.
Oh, look! I've completed some of those checklist items!
I'll be back soon. (Promise.)
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Monday, July 16, 2012
I'm back.
Wow... it has been a while. I'm not sure I can give a complete reason for such a long absence, except perhaps that I just needed a break. Sometimes writing this blog, as I gain more readers, I feel a pressure build that my writing has to in some way mean something for everyone, and I'm not sure if it really does. I mean, I hope it does, but then I feel like I'm writing more for my readers than anything. And I set out to write these pieces for both myself and for my readers.
So for a while there, I started writing things that were not invested in myself enough. I hope that makes enough sense; I don't mean I feel a need to constantly talk about myself, but I just need to be in my writing, I need to come through.
The drafts I have saved in the past couple of months are okay I suppose, but I think my journalism subject last semester kind of messed with my perception of audience. I don't want to think of you as 'audience.' I'm not writing for an 'audience,' I'm writing for you, the individual reading this, and for me.
And so, I will be back soon with me, for you.
So for a while there, I started writing things that were not invested in myself enough. I hope that makes enough sense; I don't mean I feel a need to constantly talk about myself, but I just need to be in my writing, I need to come through.
The drafts I have saved in the past couple of months are okay I suppose, but I think my journalism subject last semester kind of messed with my perception of audience. I don't want to think of you as 'audience.' I'm not writing for an 'audience,' I'm writing for you, the individual reading this, and for me.
And so, I will be back soon with me, for you.
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Thursday, April 26, 2012
Reimagining.
I'm beginning to realise how much we actually rely on our memories. Every thought we have will in some way be connected to our memories; our fears, relationships, knowledge, taste, everything.
The way we think about things in the present and future will always depend on the things that have happened to us in the past. Or, more specifically, what we remember to have happened. Think of it in the same lines as post-traumatic stress disorder, but to a way less extent. You see, when we consider something - anything - our thoughts are triggered by what we know or remember about them from what we've experienced in life.
From when we are born, our only natural fears are instinctual. And so our fears are conditioned, and so too are our thoughts and feelings by each and every small moment in our lives.
Now, maybe you're thinking "Well of course, that's so straight forward. What's your point?" (Or maybe not.) But the point is this, what if we were to re-remember them? What if we took ourselves back to a certain memory and reimagine that moment, understanding it differently and thus changing how we think of it now?
I don't exactly mean tricking ourselves into believing something happened which didn't, but rather rethinking our reaction to an event or someone else's. We consistently misinterpret other's actions and reactions, so if we attempt to reimagine them, we can then change the connotations our memories hold for us.
In this way then, can't we change our future reactions to the things that hold a connected fear or resentment? Considering these different perspectives from our past can make for a better future. We're letting go, not of the memories, but of the possibly unnecessarily negative connotation they hold for us in the future.
The way we think about things in the present and future will always depend on the things that have happened to us in the past. Or, more specifically, what we remember to have happened. Think of it in the same lines as post-traumatic stress disorder, but to a way less extent. You see, when we consider something - anything - our thoughts are triggered by what we know or remember about them from what we've experienced in life.
From when we are born, our only natural fears are instinctual. And so our fears are conditioned, and so too are our thoughts and feelings by each and every small moment in our lives.
Now, maybe you're thinking "Well of course, that's so straight forward. What's your point?" (Or maybe not.) But the point is this, what if we were to re-remember them? What if we took ourselves back to a certain memory and reimagine that moment, understanding it differently and thus changing how we think of it now?
I don't exactly mean tricking ourselves into believing something happened which didn't, but rather rethinking our reaction to an event or someone else's. We consistently misinterpret other's actions and reactions, so if we attempt to reimagine them, we can then change the connotations our memories hold for us.
In this way then, can't we change our future reactions to the things that hold a connected fear or resentment? Considering these different perspectives from our past can make for a better future. We're letting go, not of the memories, but of the possibly unnecessarily negative connotation they hold for us in the future.
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Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Adventures to be had #2.
A year of summers.
Spending summer in Australia then moving on overseas during the winter to have summer again. (And avoiding the cold!)
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| Days at the beach are days well spent! |
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Monday, March 26, 2012
Why is this even a debate?
You know, I don't know much about this whole same-sex marriage debate, but really it doesn't seem like it's something that has to be very thoroughly read into as it's pretty straightforward – we're all the damn same. Why is it so hard for people to understand that?
It's an equality debate all over again. Sexism and racism are in the past – well, idealistically. Women, indigenous people and African-Americans are just some of these cast-out groups of the past that we now wonder what we were even thinking degrading them, giving them less rights than ourselves.
I say "ourselves" even though I would have fallen into the "women" category had I been a part of that generation, but really "ourselves" would in this sense refer to those who are allowed to have the same rights as the greater public. By disallowing someone to have the same rights as everyone else, you're discriminating once again against the person that they are.
How many times do we have to be reminded that we're all human? I can just see an image of the future – once everyone figures it out – of same-sex marriage, and people wondering why we ever made such a fuss over it; in the same way we wonder now why women hadn't the same rights as men, or indigenous children were taken from their homes, or segregation happened because of the shade of someone's skin. Really, you're punishing someone for being who they are. Shouldn't we be free to love who we love and marry that person if we wish to?
To put it simply: this is stupid. There shouldn't even be debate over it. I believe people should continue to fight for what they want, and those standing in the way (who, by the way, are in no way even affected by it) should just give up because you're simply repeating the mistakes of the past. And having apologised for those mistakes in the past is all being taken back, because if you had been sorry for discrimination, you wouldn't be discriminating again.
I'm sorry about those who disagree with this post, but if you are one of those people, you and your closed mind can find the exit at the 'X'
It's an equality debate all over again. Sexism and racism are in the past – well, idealistically. Women, indigenous people and African-Americans are just some of these cast-out groups of the past that we now wonder what we were even thinking degrading them, giving them less rights than ourselves.
I say "ourselves" even though I would have fallen into the "women" category had I been a part of that generation, but really "ourselves" would in this sense refer to those who are allowed to have the same rights as the greater public. By disallowing someone to have the same rights as everyone else, you're discriminating once again against the person that they are.
How many times do we have to be reminded that we're all human? I can just see an image of the future – once everyone figures it out – of same-sex marriage, and people wondering why we ever made such a fuss over it; in the same way we wonder now why women hadn't the same rights as men, or indigenous children were taken from their homes, or segregation happened because of the shade of someone's skin. Really, you're punishing someone for being who they are. Shouldn't we be free to love who we love and marry that person if we wish to?
To put it simply: this is stupid. There shouldn't even be debate over it. I believe people should continue to fight for what they want, and those standing in the way (who, by the way, are in no way even affected by it) should just give up because you're simply repeating the mistakes of the past. And having apologised for those mistakes in the past is all being taken back, because if you had been sorry for discrimination, you wouldn't be discriminating again.
I'm sorry about those who disagree with this post, but if you are one of those people, you and your closed mind can find the exit at the 'X'
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Saturday, March 24, 2012
I thought I understood it.
"I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it,
But I didn't, not really.
Only the smudgeness of it,
The pink-slippered, all containered,
Semi-precious, eagerness of it.
I didn't realise it would sometimes be more than whole,
That the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea.
Because it's the halves that halve you in half.
I didn't know, don't know, about the between bits,
The gory bits of you, and gory bits of me."
– Anna, Like Crazy
But I didn't, not really.
Only the smudgeness of it,
The pink-slippered, all containered,
Semi-precious, eagerness of it.
I didn't realise it would sometimes be more than whole,
That the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea.
Because it's the halves that halve you in half.
I didn't know, don't know, about the between bits,
The gory bits of you, and gory bits of me."
– Anna, Like Crazy
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Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Realness.
I'm trying to grasp the concept of realness and people's perceptions of what realness is in films and stories. We get so accustomed to fiction and the forms that build up a structured story, but when this structure is formed upon the real, do we want to listen? Or do we expect it to end as a story would?
I hear so many critics (not necessarily the professional kind, just anyone with an opinion, so really just anyone) talk about the way films or books end in a way they didn't want them to when they're based on the real. This seems slightly ignorant when you consider an audience expecting the sick man to die, the unhappy couple to make up or the lost girl to find her way.
When we base stories on the real, we often structure them like stories, but they don't take the same course as one, they generally take their actual paths, albeit with tweaks. So we expect them to end like a story, often the way we want them to end. But the sick man surviving, the unhappy couple splitting up and the lost girl remaining lost, often is the real. We often feel it should be like what we expect in life - or prepare ourselves for in life - whether it be good or bad.
What I guess I'm trying to get at in my roundabout way, is that we cannot expect stories to just be stories, we have to not expect, just as we do in life. Often enough, stories are lives and our lives are stories.
I hear so many critics (not necessarily the professional kind, just anyone with an opinion, so really just anyone) talk about the way films or books end in a way they didn't want them to when they're based on the real. This seems slightly ignorant when you consider an audience expecting the sick man to die, the unhappy couple to make up or the lost girl to find her way.
When we base stories on the real, we often structure them like stories, but they don't take the same course as one, they generally take their actual paths, albeit with tweaks. So we expect them to end like a story, often the way we want them to end. But the sick man surviving, the unhappy couple splitting up and the lost girl remaining lost, often is the real. We often feel it should be like what we expect in life - or prepare ourselves for in life - whether it be good or bad.
What I guess I'm trying to get at in my roundabout way, is that we cannot expect stories to just be stories, we have to not expect, just as we do in life. Often enough, stories are lives and our lives are stories.
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Sunday, March 11, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Stupid useless wisdom teeth.
Whoever tells you getting your wisdom teeth out is easy is lying... Or just had a different experience to me. Now I'm not one to really complain about a considerably minor operation (comparative to my 2011 anyway), but it's been such a bad experience.
To start off with, under general anaesthetic, aren't you supposed to be totally "asleep" so to speak? I woke up twice - once to drilling and another time to stitches being pulled through my gum. Yeah, thanks Mr Anaesthesiologist-and-Dental-Surgeon all-in-one.
As a child, my dental record literally had a big red stamp on it that said "PHOBIA" so you can just imagine my horror waking up during a procedure like that! Even though I didn't feel pain the way I would have without most of the anaesthetic doing its job, it was quite traumatising... Particularly as I'll soon have to do it again for my other two wisdom teeth.
Now, perhaps I'm wrong and I wasn't supposed to be fully under, but they could have at least warned me that might happen. In a way I guess I'm glad it happened whilst just getting my wisdom teeth out. Can you imagine waking up during an appendectomy? Eek.
Then I was told to put ice on it straight away, but I live almost an hour away from my dental surgery, so my face inflated like a balloon. I didn't even get one of those wrap-around-your-head ice things everyone talks about getting when they get their wisdom teeth out, so even when I did get home, and since then, I've had to constantly hold up two ice packs to my face. Yes, that seems like a dumb thing to complain about, but you don't realise how much you need your hands until they're both occupied being numbed whilst trying to assist the numbing. For the first couple of days, taking those ice packs off your face for just a few seconds feels like your gums will explode.
To those yet to get their wisdom teeth out, I'm sorry if I've added to any concern you may have had already. Everyone's experience is different. I've heard horror stories and I've heard real success stories. There's really no use worrying until after it happens, and then, well, you can vent to the online world about it I guess...
Ugghhhh. I want real food.
To start off with, under general anaesthetic, aren't you supposed to be totally "asleep" so to speak? I woke up twice - once to drilling and another time to stitches being pulled through my gum. Yeah, thanks Mr Anaesthesiologist-and-Dental-Surgeon all-in-one.
As a child, my dental record literally had a big red stamp on it that said "PHOBIA" so you can just imagine my horror waking up during a procedure like that! Even though I didn't feel pain the way I would have without most of the anaesthetic doing its job, it was quite traumatising... Particularly as I'll soon have to do it again for my other two wisdom teeth.
Now, perhaps I'm wrong and I wasn't supposed to be fully under, but they could have at least warned me that might happen. In a way I guess I'm glad it happened whilst just getting my wisdom teeth out. Can you imagine waking up during an appendectomy? Eek.
Then I was told to put ice on it straight away, but I live almost an hour away from my dental surgery, so my face inflated like a balloon. I didn't even get one of those wrap-around-your-head ice things everyone talks about getting when they get their wisdom teeth out, so even when I did get home, and since then, I've had to constantly hold up two ice packs to my face. Yes, that seems like a dumb thing to complain about, but you don't realise how much you need your hands until they're both occupied being numbed whilst trying to assist the numbing. For the first couple of days, taking those ice packs off your face for just a few seconds feels like your gums will explode.
To those yet to get their wisdom teeth out, I'm sorry if I've added to any concern you may have had already. Everyone's experience is different. I've heard horror stories and I've heard real success stories. There's really no use worrying until after it happens, and then, well, you can vent to the online world about it I guess...
Ugghhhh. I want real food.
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Sunday, January 29, 2012
Adventures to be had #1.
Sometimes I feel like there are so many things in the world that it's overwhelming - so many places to visit, things to experience, emotions to feel, books to read, skills to learn, so many people to savour every moment with... This post is the beginning of my stream of adventures to be had.
The architecture, the art, the food, the fashion... Paris, France.
I have visited Paris in the past, when I was only young. The experience always changes when you grow older; there are new things you want to see and do. When it comes to places such as those beautiful spots in Europe, I don't believe in site-seeing. I would rather spend a long period of time in a beautiful place living like a local than a short period looking at the things we're told we "have to see" when we visit.
Qui peut résister? Paris est magnifique!
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Sunday, January 22, 2012
Things that win my heart #12.
Books by your favourite author that come autographed!
But more importantly, books that can make you laugh and cry in the same sentence; that you finish overnight for lack of power to put them down, delving into your fears and hopes through them. Ones that you forget are fiction because they're too wonderful, daring, terrifying, poetic and honest not to be part of the real world.
Thank you John Green.
"I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is
improbably biased toward consciousness, that it rewards intelligence
in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed."
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Monday, January 9, 2012
Holding our grudges.
I don't know why I haven't been able to complete any of the different drafts I have saved to this blog in the past few weeks. Sorry for the absence; I guess it's really been a challenge to get my thoughts in order. And there has been a lot to think about.
The one thing that has come up the most in this time has been grudges. They've popped up in conversations, situations and contemplations on end! Perhaps this is because of the whole "new year, new beginnings" thing and people want to begin the year without bitterness, but in saying this, I don't understand it.
I don't think we should be getting over our "grudges" just because we've suddenly decided to have a clean slate ahead of us. We have to clean that slate ourselves, not just dump its contents on the ground and expect everything to be okay.
A grudge is "a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury." People say we should let them go because there's "no point holding onto the past," but really, these past insults or injuries change the way we see the person who had caused them. We are given the chance to learn a new side to their character. By suddenly letting go of a grudge without reason, we're ignoring that part of who they are.
Now I'm not saying we should hold onto our grudges forever; I'm just saying perhaps we're better off figuring them out. Has the person changed? Or do we simply wish to imagine they have changed? There's a vast difference.
The one thing that has come up the most in this time has been grudges. They've popped up in conversations, situations and contemplations on end! Perhaps this is because of the whole "new year, new beginnings" thing and people want to begin the year without bitterness, but in saying this, I don't understand it.
I don't think we should be getting over our "grudges" just because we've suddenly decided to have a clean slate ahead of us. We have to clean that slate ourselves, not just dump its contents on the ground and expect everything to be okay.
A grudge is "a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury." People say we should let them go because there's "no point holding onto the past," but really, these past insults or injuries change the way we see the person who had caused them. We are given the chance to learn a new side to their character. By suddenly letting go of a grudge without reason, we're ignoring that part of who they are.
Now I'm not saying we should hold onto our grudges forever; I'm just saying perhaps we're better off figuring them out. Has the person changed? Or do we simply wish to imagine they have changed? There's a vast difference.
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Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Ars longa, vita brevis.
"Ars longa,
vita brevis,
occasio praeceps,
experimentum periculosum,
iudicium difficile."
vita brevis,
occasio praeceps,
experimentum periculosum,
iudicium difficile."
– Hippokrates of Kos (460 BC - 370 BC)
"Art is long,
life is short,
opportunity fleeting,
experiment perilous,
judgment difficult."
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Mismatched meanings.
Just like every other word in every language, "Sorry" seems to have different meanings to each person across the world. To some it may mean "I wish I hadn't done it" or "I wish you hadn't found out." Perhaps "I know you don't approve, so I'll just apologise to get off the hook." Maybe it means "I regret it and I won't do it again."
Whatever "Sorry" means to a person, the definition is created by the mix of experiences they've had in life. Were you ever forced to apologise to someone, or did you have someone say it to you and really mean it? Did someone say it a million times, once for evey time they repeated the mistake, losing the meaning of the word?
Every word has a connection with something within our lives, or will possibly have that connection in the future. What do you think of when you hear the word "dad" or "summer" or "illness"? We all have different relationships with our parents, all have had different summers throughout life, and all know illness in different ways.
So then we string together sentences expecting others to understand what our minds comprehend of them, when all these words will never mean the same to another person. I wonder if anyone ever completely understands anyone else.
And I wonder if anyone else thinks "Sorry" means that the person regrets their actions and doesn't want to do it again. Saying it without meaning can be worse and even more hurtful than not saying it at all. Don't apologise if you know you're going to do it again. Don't apologise if it's just because you think it's what the other person wants you to do. Don't apologise if you don't understand. And don't ever apologise if you're not sorry.
Whatever "Sorry" means to a person, the definition is created by the mix of experiences they've had in life. Were you ever forced to apologise to someone, or did you have someone say it to you and really mean it? Did someone say it a million times, once for evey time they repeated the mistake, losing the meaning of the word?
Every word has a connection with something within our lives, or will possibly have that connection in the future. What do you think of when you hear the word "dad" or "summer" or "illness"? We all have different relationships with our parents, all have had different summers throughout life, and all know illness in different ways.
So then we string together sentences expecting others to understand what our minds comprehend of them, when all these words will never mean the same to another person. I wonder if anyone ever completely understands anyone else.
And I wonder if anyone else thinks "Sorry" means that the person regrets their actions and doesn't want to do it again. Saying it without meaning can be worse and even more hurtful than not saying it at all. Don't apologise if you know you're going to do it again. Don't apologise if it's just because you think it's what the other person wants you to do. Don't apologise if you don't understand. And don't ever apologise if you're not sorry.
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Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Across the world.
I'm trying to figure out how (and I'm really not sure) I forgot about the posting challenge I took on aaages ago. Compilation of challenge posts available here and will be updated. Can you believe I started in August LAST YEAR?! Oops.
Well, today it continues...
Challenge Post 07- Something you miss
My Canadian family.
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| Photo by Blink and You'll Miss It |
I'm not sure if I'm able to write too much on this topic without getting myself upset, but to try and make you understand how I feel about them, try thinking of someone you love greatly, and then send them across the world, and then multiply this one person by so many. Minus the growing up together, and just dropping past their place whenever, or celebrating all our birthdays and Christmas together every year.
But do add late night board games and junk food, and add getting to know each other despite the distance. Then add the occasions we did get to spend together, and the snowmen we built. Add whispered conversations that went much too late into the night, and add all the experiences we shared in the past and will share in the future; moments we won't forget. Then glue it all together with great memories and love.
I really can't wait to see you all again. ♥
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Friday, December 2, 2011
16 things.
16 things I learnt in the past 16 days, in which I had been MIA here at Passionately Curious:
1. Turns out chocolate isn't always good for you. (Who would have thought?)
2. Dropping your phone down a flight of stairs... also not good.
3. Dropping your guard, however, can be good.
4. Some men do like The Notebook, despite their denial.
5. No matter how many times you go in, operations and surgeries never get easier.
6. I should be thankful for what I have; there are people complaining less, even with more to deal with.
7. Deformed belly buttons are not the end of the world.
8. There are many things wrong with me, but there are many things wrong with all of us.
9. Don't have pain killers without food. Nothing good will come from this.
10. Fears and inhibitions are only avoidable in a conscious state of mind.
11. Beavers' teeth never stop growing.
12. You can tell a great book from the first page.
13. Atonement is not always obtainable; we must let some things go.
14. I am 19, not 18. (I should probably start getting used to that at some point.)
15. Not speaking is sometimes as important as speaking.
16. If you're questioning whether something is right or wrong, the questioning is your answer.
1. Turns out chocolate isn't always good for you. (Who would have thought?)
2. Dropping your phone down a flight of stairs... also not good.
3. Dropping your guard, however, can be good.
4. Some men do like The Notebook, despite their denial.
5. No matter how many times you go in, operations and surgeries never get easier.
6. I should be thankful for what I have; there are people complaining less, even with more to deal with.
7. Deformed belly buttons are not the end of the world.
8. There are many things wrong with me, but there are many things wrong with all of us.
9. Don't have pain killers without food. Nothing good will come from this.
10. Fears and inhibitions are only avoidable in a conscious state of mind.
11. Beavers' teeth never stop growing.
12. You can tell a great book from the first page.
13. Atonement is not always obtainable; we must let some things go.
14. I am 19, not 18. (I should probably start getting used to that at some point.)
15. Not speaking is sometimes as important as speaking.
16. If you're questioning whether something is right or wrong, the questioning is your answer.
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Losing control.
"Right then, with the realisation that no one knew the truth about my life, my thoughts about the world were shaken.
Like driving along a bumpy road and losing control of the steering wheel, tossing you – just a tad – off the road. The wheels kick up some dirt, but you're able to pull it back. Yet no matter how tightly you grip the wheel, no matter how hard you try to drive straight, something keeps jerking you to the side. You have so little control over anything anymore."
Like driving along a bumpy road and losing control of the steering wheel, tossing you – just a tad – off the road. The wheels kick up some dirt, but you're able to pull it back. Yet no matter how tightly you grip the wheel, no matter how hard you try to drive straight, something keeps jerking you to the side. You have so little control over anything anymore."
– Jay Asher, Th1rteen R3asons Why
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